Next month it will be 30 years since my grandmother died. Recently I was told that every 30 years the moon does a full cycle (1 degree per month) and if something is bothering you today, it might be related to something that happened to you 30 years ago.
I recently shared an “origin story” at a work dinner (no, not about how I got my superpowers). It was a sharing of something in your life that helped make you who you are today. My story naturally came to me to talk about my grandma.
My grandparents lived nearby when I was young. I would go there by myself and usually when I arrived, my grandfather would be lying down having a nap and if it was in the afternoon, my grandmother would be watching one of the many soap operas on TV. As a child I never understood how much she enjoyed them, and if I knew now what I know, I would have visited at a different time, so as not to disturbed her.
When I would arrive, I would say hello to my grandpa and he would say where my grandma was. If she was watching a soap, she would immediately turn it off and come sit in the veranda with me and my grandpa.
In today's world, you would say “just a minute while I record the show” or “I got it recording, how are you doing?” But back then, the show was on the aerial (Google it), and there were no VCR’s (Google it), or PVR’s (Google it), or pause buttons on your iPad so that you could watch it later. I was so important to her that she would immediately turn it off.
As I'm telling this story, I realize now that she was possibly the best listener that I ever knew. Never interrupting me as I talked, and willing to always listen. I have tried to be a person that listens to everything that someone says, but it is hard. We are always trying to interject or comment before the person is done or our impatience gets in the way. Often we miss so much interrupting people. Sometimes people discussing a problem come up with their own solution on their own and only needed someone to listen.
Her death 30 years ago probably is not something I ever got over. As I think about this blog’s name and the songs I have written, I know now that she was a great inspiration in my life. She has been gone for more years than she was with me alive. It's hard to forget someone, even after that amount of time.
My next song that I will release is called “Seen That Look Before” and I dedicate it to her.